Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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