gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
