The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize