He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
