You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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