I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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