plz talk dirty to me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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