four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
