I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
