If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
