I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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