That's intense
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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