How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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