She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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