I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
