but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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