yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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