"it" just moved
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
