why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
