Midget sex pt 2 tonight
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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