forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she looked like the before picture.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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