Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
