did you get engaged???
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
