areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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