Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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