Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
