i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
