In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
