based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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