Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
two words: eviction party
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
