with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
