is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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