People in love make me want to vomit
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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