Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
