The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
In America we eat man semen.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
