k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
