Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Bring me that man meat
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
