I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
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Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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