I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
