some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.