Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.