we're blogging at a bar
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.