Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.

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  (719): I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment. http://tfl.nu/wmih
  Replies (15) Good night (2897) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The recession has changed everything man.

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  (412): Why are there hot girls at the dollar store? (410): The recession has changed everything man. http://tfl.nu/jvje
  Replies (9) Good night (3051) Bad night (431)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm coming over.

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  (281): I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay. (713): I'm coming over. http://tfl.nu/32wi
  Replies (30) Good night (3922) Bad night (947)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"

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  (860): I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober" http://tfl.nu/f99j
  Replies (19) Good night (1313) Bad night (3137) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again

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  (314): Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again http://tfl.nu/jwo1
  Replies (19) Good night (5470) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many

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  (319): You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many http://tfl.nu/z652
  Replies (8) Good night (4761) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting

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  (301): There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting http://tfl.nu/c2mi
  Replies (5) Good night (2372) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.

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  (519): Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum. http://tfl.nu/qm4t
  Replies (8) Good night (2089) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.

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  (615): There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night. http://tfl.nu/q563
  Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (1684) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?

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  (502): I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that? http://tfl.nu/7r6j
  Replies (14) Good night (1144) Bad night (1561)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.

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  (641): My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days. http://tfl.nu/soru
  Replies (9) Good night (2767) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.

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  (910): Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick. http://tfl.nu/tlv4
  Replies (6) Good night (1454) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.

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  (843): My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete. http://tfl.nu/bmnj
  Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's the conductor of the struggle bus

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS

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  (413): He's the conductor of the struggle bus (1-413): I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS http://tfl.nu/k1kz
  Replies (6) Good night (610) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom

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  (802): I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom http://tfl.nu/99fe
  Replies (1) Good night (354) Bad night (107) Order T-Shirt

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