she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
don't judge my taste in strippers
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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