Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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