when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
