is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
