he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
