what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
