Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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