I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
well you can't waste a boner
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
