It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
