She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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