Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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