I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
