Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
