Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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