Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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