I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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