I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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