I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
where are you?
Hypothermia
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
