I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
