I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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